It seems (and the news seems to confirm) that destination weddings are becoming more and more popular. After all, I leave for Thailand in a few days to go to Kelsey & Josh's wedding! My friend Tyler and his fiance finally set an approximate date for their wedding and decided it would be in Mexico (in the Yucatan penninsula), and want me to come (Tyler says he wants me to be in the wedding party too - which is a whole other story entirely).
Don't get me wrong - I love traveling, and having a great excuse to travel to fun new places is great. However, the whole concept of remote weddings has left me in quite a quandry. There are all kinds of questions that have rolled through my head... For example:
* Do I still have to buy the couple a gift if I'm spending all this money to be attending their wedding? (BTW - Ettiquette guides say yes, and they should be mailed to the bride's home before the wedding like all wedding gifts - who knew?)
* Why would people decide to do that? Is it because they want to be different? Or they are hoping that most people won't come but don't really want to just elope? Or is it a money thing?
* Isn't it rude to ask people to be in your wedding when it's such a financial commitment to go there to be a part of it (above and beyond the normal costs of being in someone's wedding)?
* Isn't the point of a honeymoon to get away to a destination? If you go somewhere, how do you get the privacy for a honeymoon when all your friends and family are around and want a piece of your time?
I guess I'm just irritated b/c Tyler told me the reason they were doing a destination wedding was b/c it was cheaper for them, as they could get a package deal with the resort since all the guests paid the costs, and they got the bonus of the free honeymoon and such. But he also told me I HAD to stay for at least 3 days. Well honestly, if I'm going to pay all the money to fly down there, I'm going to make it a vacation and stay for a while, but seriously??? If you ask me, that's just plain tacky - I was really offended. I'm of the philosphy, if you can't afford it, you shouldn't be doing it. I know the wedding is for the bride and groom, not the guests or anyone else, but what ever happened to courtesy to everyone else? Since when did couples get so selfish and think their friends and family owed them so much?
Am I just being ridiculous b/c I lack the ability to say "No", or do I have a legitamate irritation? I'm not sure. But hopefully through all these things I am learning is just another part of the Golden Rule... since I "don't want done unto me".
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1 comment:
Couldn't help but add my thoughts ;)
1. Honestly, you never HAVE to buy a couple a gift. I could go on for days about gifts and weddings. Danielle, you would not believe what some people told me about registering, and who to send invites to just to get gifts...it was eye-opening!
2. Josh and I chose to do destination because we knew we wanted it on a beach, obvioulsy didn't want one in Utah, and had no idea how to decide where to have it, we also didn't want many people there, AND we did think it would be cheaper but I don't really know if it was. So for us, it was a combination of everything...and yes, we were selfish =)
3. I think technicially if you're asked to be in the wedding, the couple is supposed to pay for accomodations.
4.As for the honeymoon--Josh and I figured we have been together for so long that it really wasn't a big deal. We have honeymoons at home ;) we were just excited to be somewhere fun and with good company. Also, it's a little harder to justify a lengthy international stay if it's "just for pleasure" versus if it's for "a once in a lifetime event" (Yes, I have problems with that too).
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